by BooParry | Dec 10, 2015 | #Undone, Books, FaithJourney, Series
Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.”
-Matthew 26:39 HCSB
What is your “cup”? For Michele, it was the news of cancer. Or suddenly being tossed back into raising small children. Or loving a teenage child who fought against her love.
For you, it may be being single when you so badly want to be married. It may be not being able to have children. It may be going through miscarriages. It may be a diagnosis. It may be an addiction. It may be being in a difficult marriage. It may be a relationship with your child.
I love how honest David is in the Psalms. “I am sick at heart. How long, O Lord, until you restore me? …I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears” (Psalm 6:3,6 NLT). I can definitely relate to those nights.
I can also relate to Michele’s desire to have life “neatly packaged” and “not too interrupting.” She said, “I would’ve done anything for boring and ordinary.” That has been (still is) my desire too often for my own life. In short, I’m a perfectionist who likes to keep my life and surroundings predictable and under control.
But God desires more for my life than that. Michele wrote, “But sometimes messy is the necessary beginning to the makings of extraordinary.”
At the end of Psalm 6, David concludes, “The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.” No matter how difficult it was for him to carry his cup, he knew that God could be trusted.
Those who have faith, deep abiding faith in an Artist who has all things under his control, have no need to rehash the past or predict the future.
-Michele Cushatt, Undone*
So I ask again, what is your cup? Remember, if it’s not difficult, it would not be considered a “sacrifice.” The most difficult cup ever given led to the greatest sacrifice, which led to the most extraordinary redemption of mankind. Let’s receive this cup that God has specifically designed for us…and allow Him to lead us into the makings of extraordinary.
Share
by BooParry | Oct 22, 2015 | #Undone, Books, FaithJourney, Series
How many of us can relate to the feeling of running on empty? For me, it comes in two ways. There’s the everyday, being a mom to four kids, exhausted, things are not up to my standard and I’m irritable…type of “I’m spent” feeling. Then, there’s the kind that comes with emotional trauma: my “undone” moment happens, I’m unraveled, I’m emotionally spent, and I come to the same place Michele described: “God, I have nothing. Nothing. You’re going to have to show up in a big way.”
I’m there right now…and it’s a mixture of the two kinds I described above. In these moments, I feel so “unpresentable.” I feel so far from the ideal image of myself. And I feel alone. I try to pour out my feelings to my husband, but sometimes, I end up feeling worse. I either feel that he doesn’t understand, or I feel even more of a mess than I originally did, because I’m throwing a mini temper tantrum at him out of my crazy emotions. This is not the “me” I want to present to him, or to the rest of my family, or to my friends.
Yet, in those moments, I feel like a real human. I feel that all pretense is gone, my own efforts are relinquished, and I’m exactly where God wants me to be. As Apostle Paul put it, that’s the place where I’m forced to trust God totally, instead of relying on my own strength or goodness.
It was so bad we didn’t think we were going to make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing.
–2 Corinthians 1:8-10 The Message Bible
I love these words Michele shared in Chapter 8, and I agree wholeheartedly.
Few things display unadulterated beauty like a pouring out when you’ve nothing to give. It must come from an otherwordly place, a well whose source you do not control. In that weak and lonely place of utter dependency, I learned a little bit about what it means to be a living sacrifice.
-Michele Cushatt, Undone*
It’s not an easy, comfortable place to be. It’s hard. It’s lonely. But, as she said, there’s beauty there. It’s only when we reach the end of ourselves that we experience this “utter dependency” on God. It’s only in this place that we truly begin to understand what Peal meant when he said, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).
So, whether you’re running on empty because of everyday stress of life, or because you are in your undone process and you’re emotionally spent, know that as Paul said, “it’s the best thing that could have happened.” Trust me, I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it is. In this place of emptiness, when you have nothing left of yourself to give, God meets you and rescues you. And this type of life experience will have much bigger impact in your circle of influence than anything you could have accomplished on your own. Again, Michele couldn’t have said it better: “Authenticity ministers far more than put-togetherness. And vulnerability builds a far stronger bond than perfection.”
Let’s meet one another in this place of vulnerability and emptiness. Let’s remind one another of God’s grace – and of His power to rescue…time and time again.
*This is part of a series of posts I’m writing about a book by Michele Cushatt called Undone. I will write about what God is having me reflect on after each chapter. You can just read my posts, or you can join the online book club I started. Read my Invite post and Getting Started post to find out more about the book club.
This post was reflecting on Chapters 7 and 8.
Discussion Questions for the book club:
-No specific discussion questions for this week. I’d love to hear what jumped out at you from these two chapters.
Share
by BooParry | Mar 27, 2013 | FaithJourney, Key, Single
The following is a journal entry from seven years ago, when Allan and I were engaged. To this day, our dating and engagement period has been the toughest season we have faced in our relationship by far. We were constantly faced with conflicts caused by fears, opposite personalities, and unrealistic expectations, as we learned to communicate and do life together.
This particular entry was written on March 18, 2006.
“Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” Psalm 126:5-6
This is the passage You showed me last night. It has been a very tough battle/challenge these last few days.
I go through a great turmoil when reality doesn’t match my ideal. Relationship is hard. It’s hard to share my life with another imperfect person…and it’s even harder to realize how imperfect I am and have my imperfections be exposed to the other person. It’s hard to face conflicts or disappointments…and to learn how to communicate through them. When conflict happens on a regular basis, I get so exhausted.
I see how pleasant I am around other people (besides him). I realize how much I’ve enjoyed that…and I really miss it. Sometimes I’m hesitant to see him at night or answer his call because I’m afraid the worst part of me will come out again, just because things didn’t go exactly the way I wanted. This also clashes with my ideal that I shouldn’t feel this way about spending time with my fiancé. This whole challenge clashes with my ideal that I’m not supposed to be such a difficult person to deal with. The cycle just keeps getting worse.
It does, however, bring me back to my knees. I remember that You are always here to rescue me from this endless cycle of doubts, fears, and over-analyzing. I keep coming back to a place of faith. It’s my faith that’s being easily attacked, even intimidated, which is causing all this fear. I come back to the realization that I need more faith. More faith in God, who has never failed me, who promises to never leave me. More faith in Allan, who has stuck by my side so faithfully thus far…who has expressed so much love for God and for me. More faith in this relationship that has been given to us from God, where we can complement each other and glorify God more powerfully together than on our own. More faith in myself…who, after truly accepting God’s love, have always found my way back to Him. Who, with His help, have been able to endure any trial and challenge without giving up. Who have consistently sought His will and His guidance for me and my future family.
Last night and this morning, You brought me to a place of total surrender. I kept having crazy thoughts of what if the wedding has to be postponed or canceled…how would I face everyone. You reminded me that You’re the only One I ultimately answer to. I have given You full reign over my life. I need to be willing to leave everything in Your hands – the wedding, the marriage, everything. And I must be willing to give it up if You ask me to. It won’t make sense to me at all, but the command to sacrifice Isaac didn’t make sense to Abraham either. But through his faith and total surrender, Your glory was revealed…and You brought the sweetest victory for him. It will be the same for me. I will always choose You, Lord. Everything I have belongs to You. Where You call me to, I will go. What You want to take from me, it’s Yours. What You ask me to do, I’ll do. I long for this kind of heart always. May I always seek Your face.
I desire to hold the gifts You give me with open hands. I want my life to reveal Your glory and goodness. This morning, as I was on my knees, all I could let out with my voice was, “I surrender, I surrender, I surrender…everything to You.”
I do surrender all…it’s not I who live, but Christ living in me. May that be true to every part of my being. I will face every trial necessary, whatever it takes, for me to fulfill Your will and purpose.
My faith, my love, my undying devotion to my God. This is the legacy I desire to leave to my children and for a thousand generations to come. I want them to know that I sought after God with all of my heart…and that I always found Him.
You have brought me an amazing partner to share this journey with. We seek Your guidance, every step of the way.
As I read this and ponder back, I can see that from this place of surrender, God began an amazing work in and through our relationship, which is still unfolding today. As the verse at the beginning says, the seeds of our relationship were sown with tears, and now we are reaping the harvest with indescribable joy. When I give it all to God, He takes it and gives it back a hundred fold. My life is a living example of that…time and time again. I will testify to this truth until my dying breath: surrendering to Jesus always brings the sweetest victory. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s true. It’s true.
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back, no turning back.
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
No turning back, no turning back.
-hymn attributed to S. Sundar Singh
