by BooParry | Feb 18, 2013 | FaithJourney
Only God can do the impossible. Only God could have parted the Red Sea. Only God can touch and change people’s hearts with His love.
My friend introduced me to a great online daily devotional by Nicky Gumbel. In today’s devotional, he talked about how Moses had a part to play (‘Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea’, Exodus 14:16), but God had a much bigger and harder role to play (dividing the waters).
I, no doubt, have my part to play. God desires to use me for His purpose. I am called to be faithful in doing my part. Yet, there is always a part that only He can accomplish. He and His power alone.
I think this is such a necessary lesson for me to learn, especially as I prepare myself for the counseling field. Or even in just my everyday life, when I’m in midst of situations or relationships that I just want to “fix” and make it all better.
“Did I do enough?” “Did I say enough?” or sometimes, even “Did I pray enough?”
I need to remember – it is not my responsibility. Be faithful to do my part, yes, but beyond that is not my responsibility…and many times, it’s even beyond my possibility. But with God, all things are possible.
I feel like Job…standing in front of the God of the Universe. He’s asking me, “So…you think you can work this out better than I can, huh? Tell me…who made the stars and put them in its place?” Touché. Game over.
So once I’ve done my part, what do I do?
Wait…and keep praying. That can actually be harder than whatever it was that I was called to do. In one instance, when Moses was again called to raise his arms during a battle, his arms became tired, and Aaron had to help him (Exodus 17).
Waiting and being faithful in prayer can become so wearisome… If you’re like me, you’d much rather be doing something to get quicker results!
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”
I especially love the way New American Standard Bible says it, “Cease striving and know that I am God.”
God, I believe You are the God of this universe. I believe all things are possible with You. I believe that one touch of Your love can change people’s hearts forever. I believe that one revelation from You can change people’s minds. I believe Your goodness and faithfulness will be revealed, to all who call on Your name. I trust all my cares – all my concerns for my loved ones – at Your feet. I believe I will see Your victory. I believe that Your name will be glorified. Until then, when I’ve done what I was called to do, I will learn to be still and find peace in the truth that You are GOD. (Thankfully) I am not.
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by BooParry | Feb 7, 2013 | FaithJourney
I always try to write from my heart, a place where I’m real, but today…it’s going to be extra “raw.” I write from a place of pain. My heart aches excruciatingly. But deep inside, I know that it’s a “good pain.” I’m not an athlete, but I think those who are will be able to relate to this kind of pain.
Growing pains. Strengthening pains. And someday, I’ll be able to look back and call it “rewarding pains.”
It seems ironic that peace and pain can co-exist inside my heart…but this is not my first time.
The immediate example that comes to mind is the time I made the decision to leave California. If you had asked me if that was even a remote possibility one year before I made the decision, I would have told you, “No way. You’re crazy to even suggest that I’d ever leave California. This is my home. This is the home of people that I love. This is where most of my friends are.” Yet, in His small still voice, God told me that it was time to let go. As I type this and remember the experience, it still brings me to tears. It was by far one of the most difficult decisions I ever had to make. As painful as it was – and walking through that decision was even more painful – I had peace, deep in my heart, that it was the right decision.
I had to walk out in faith…that indeed God had spoken to me and that it was the best decision for my life. I was not able to know then what I know now. I had no idea what my life in Florida will look like in one year…in five years…in ten years. In fact, my 10th anniversary from the big move will be this coming August. I look back in awe. God, You are SO good, and SO faithful. I am in tears (again) for a different reason. I am overwhelmed by the thought of how much I would have missed out on, had I not followed God’s lead because it was going to be too painful for me. I look at my husband of almost seven years…I can’t imagine life without him by my side. I look at the faces of my two little girls…they wouldn’t have existed!
How joyful are those who fear the Lord—
all who follow his ways!
You will enjoy the fruit of your labor.
How joyful and prosperous you will be!
Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine,
flourishing within your home.
Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees
as they sit around your table.
That is the Lord’s blessing
for those who fear him.
Psalm 128:1-4 NLT
Now, I find myself in another season of “growing pains.” Another season of “labor” as the psalmist puts it above. My heart aches and the tears won’t stop. But deep inside, I have peace.
It was a little over a month ago that I claimed this was going to be a year of being Truthful – to who God has made me, to what God has placed on my heart, and to what God has called me to do.
I’m glad He didn’t give me a preview of what just the first month of 2013 was going to look like. If He did, I would have undoubtedly chosen a different word. God has definitely provided me with ample opportunities to put myself to the test in this area. I’ve had to choose what’s right over what’s easy. I’ve had to choose to be truthful over being agreeable. I’ve had to speak the truth, in love and grace, even if doing so meant causing a rift, or a ripple, in my “perfect world.” It also has meant that I can no longer appear “perfect” in other people’s eyes. It has meant opening way to some criticism or disagreement. It has meant giving room to being misunderstood or misperceived. Again, it’s only been the first month, and I can’t believe in how many areas this word truthful had to apply…in friendships, with family, and in our adoption process.
These words have brought encouragement as I have been learning to walk out of my comfort zone:
Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
-Ephesians 4:15
“Criticism is the cost of influence.” – Rick Warren
“If you do things God’s way, He will give you double for your trouble.” – Joyce Meyer
For the Lord God is our sun and our shield.
He gives us grace and glory.
The Lord will withhold no good thing
from those who do what is right.
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies,
what joy for those who trust in you.
-Psalm 84:11-12 NLT
I wouldn’t be lying if I said I’m a little scared of what the rest of the year holds for me. But I choose His way, over and over again. I choose to trust Him. I believe, with all my heart, that in ten years (or even less), I will look back on this season and say to myself, “Wow, look at all that I would have missed out on…had I not followed God’s lead because it was going to be too painful for me.” I believe that I will look back and see how much I was able to grow in Christ, how much God had increased His sphere of influence through my life, and how much good I was able to receive…all because I chose to answer His call to be truthful.
No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good,
and this is what he requires of you:
to do what is right, to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with your God.
-Micah 6:8 NLT
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by BooParry | Jan 12, 2013 | FaithJourney, Key
TRUTHFUL.
That’s the word God placed on my heart for 2013. And already, it’s been a challenging word to strive for.
I suffer from People Pleasing Disorder. My greatest fear is letting someone down. At a glance, it seems like a humble, selfless trait. It’s not. It’s actually very selfish and prideful. I do not want to appear less than “perfect” as a wife, a mom, a daughter, and a friend. I want to meet everyone’s expectations. When someone even hints at something that I failed to meet, I am offended easily and take it personally. My husband probably suffers from this the most. When he simply points out we need more of this or that (usually grocery items) in the house, I secretly get irritated. To me, he’s pointing out something I failed to complete. To him, he just wants some more milk. I know; it’s sickening. It’s very unhealthy, actually.
Recently I had a situation with a close friend of mine. A difference of opinion turned into a few weeks of emotionally exhausting turmoil. Bottom line, I had a hard time dealing with the perception that I am a “less than perfect” friend for her. This has been a very humbling lesson to learn.
What I realized is this: I need to work on developing a healthier conscience. A God-driven conscience, not a people-pleasing, perfectionist-wannabe conscience. I need to create healthier emotional boundaries for myself.
Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. –Ephesians 4:14-15
My thoughts, emotions, and conscience are “tossed around” way too much. So this is my new “goal” for the year: God directing my conscience, speaking the truth in love, and not worry so much about other people’s opinions of me. This will allow me to grow more in Christ. I will strive to be truthful to who God made me, what God has placed on my heart, and what God has called me to do.
What I am NOT saying is that I will try to change my personality. I am naturally a soft, easy-going, agreeable, peaceful type of person. That’s how God made me. I am never going to be “in your face” type of gal. However, in those moments when God is calling me to be “truthful” more than agreeable, I need to take the harder road of being truthful…in love.
Truth and love…it’s a hard balance to reach, but I know of the greatest example – The Cross.
I expect it will be a long process for me to learn, but I am committed to this goal. I’m excited for all that 2013 will bring forth from this word: Truthful.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. –Galatians 1:10
Lord, with all my heart, I seek to follow You and to please You, not people. Please help me to remember Who it is that I am living for. Help me to follow the footsteps of Jesus, and live my life with Truth and Love. I desire to grow this year more than ever before. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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by BooParry | Dec 31, 2012 | FaithJourney
What a year this has been. At the beginning of the year, the word I believe God placed in my heart for 2012 was “FRUITFUL.” I desired 2012 to be a year I produced much fruit within myself, through my life (which includes my writing), through our finances, and through our family. So here’s looking back at this year with those goals in mind.
Producing Fruit Within Myself: I picked up photography. I bought a new camera at end of 2011, and although I haven’t been able to master how to use it as much as I’d like to, I now know more about taking pictures than I ever did before. I took a hobby class at the community college. I also love playing around with Adobe Photoshop and Lightroom. Taking pictures of my kids come with its ongoing frustrations, but I’m learning to be a patient student. I also started grad school in the fall (Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy). First class was plain out B-O-R-I-N-G to me, but I really enjoyed my second class. I’m looking forward to all that I will learn through this program. Most importantly, I started a Beth Moore Bible study on the book of James with my two best friends via video chat. It’s been a meaningful, humbling, encouraging Bible study so far.
Producing Fruit Through My Life: Well, obviously this one is hard to measure myself, but a couple of things that stand out to me are this blog I started in early 2012 and my MOPS group. Since I am no longer working, outside of my family, friends, and what I mentioned above, these two things (blog & MOPS) were where I spent my time on a weekly basis. THANK YOU to those who read my blog faithfully this year. I LOVE sharing my thoughts through this blog and hearing your comments. What I love hearing most is how much you were able to relate to what I wrote and be encouraged by it. I hope to start a new series in 2013, sharing more of my journal entries from past seasons in life. I love my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. We have such an amazing steering team this year, and I’m enjoying the growing friendships we share. It also blesses me to watch many new friendships form (even if I’m not part of it) and see many young moms be encouraged through this group.
Producing Fruit Through Our Finances: WOW. I really can’t even begin to describe to what extent this happened in 2012. Allan’s web-based supplement business had an UN-believable growth this year, and we’ve been able to give in so many ways as a result (to missions, scholarships, causes such as fighting human-trafficking, medical needs, and so much more). We are completely humbled by how God has allowed us to participate in so many ministries financially.
Producing Fruit Through Our Family: We took a big leap of faith this year. We began our adoption process in April. It was a bit of a difficult move to take this first step (mainly for me; see my Intro: Adoption post), but since then, we have not looked back. We know, without a doubt, that this is the plan God has for us. Currently we have completed our first paperwork phase, and we are waiting to be matched (which will take approx. 3-6 months). We are still expecting our process to be completed around fall of 2013. In addition to our adoption journey, Allan and I have continued leading our parenting small group at church. We once again welcomed many visitors to our home this year. We love sharing about our family life through this blog, our family website, and Facebook.
I give God all the praise for everything I was able to experience in 2012. I also could not have done any of it without the support of my husband, other family members, and my friends. It has been a year of growth for me in many ways – re-encountering my Japanese culture & family through my trip there in April, learning to become a better mother (mainly through Peanut), learning to have healthier emotional boundaries with other people, growing through some difficult challenges with my friends, etc. It just shows that there’s still so much room for me to grow, and so much fruit yet to be produced. I look forward to all that 2013 holds.
Happy New Year, everyone! May 2013 be your most blessed year yet.
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by BooParry | Nov 19, 2012 | FaithJourney, Parenting
Let’s face it…as women, we compare. All the time.
We compare ourselves to other women in areas that matters to us the most. For some of us, it may be looks or career. For me, it’s marriage and parenting. Even when I have it so good most of the time (such as in my marriage), I often find myself comparing…Is our marriage as good as theirs? When I actually type these thoughts out, they sound absolutely ridiculous (not to mention embarrassing). But they cross my mind more often than I care to admit.
I’m willing to bet money that I’m not the only one (remember, this blog is all about being real). That’s why this post is addressed to all of my categories: single, marriage, parenting, and adoption.
Single: Am I as successful in my career as the woman next to me? How is my dating life compared to theirs?
Marriage: Does our marriage appear as great as theirs? Do we have a better house/car/etc.?
Parenting : Is my child better behaved than theirs? Does my child have more accomplishments in academics, sports, etc.?
Adoption: We’ve been in this process longer, and my friends are getting their child before us. How is my child adjusting compared to other adopted children?
We thought it would end after high school. But it doesn’t. When I had my first baby, I found out that in some ways, it gets worse. Natural birth or epidural. Breast milk or formula. How long will it take for my child to sleep through the night compared to theirs? Buy or make baby food? Potty-training, swimming, reading, etc., etc. It never ends.
Probably the most humbling experience for me in this area has been my adventure of raising Peanut. I know, I talk about her all the time. Honestly, I feel like so much of my life’s lessons, callings, challenges, and blessings are all wrapped inside that little body of hers. Before she was born, I was sure that I would be a good mother. I was confident. I would look at out-of-control kids at the mall and would think to myself, “When I become a mother, my children will never behave like that.” I come from a culture where good manners and behaviors are valued above all else. There’s a lot of shame associated with those who would not fit into the “well-behaved box.” In this type of culture, I excelled as a child. I was like Apostle Paul, who said he was like “a Hebrew of Hebrews”; I added zero shame to my Japanese heritage.
Then came my Peanut. To her, lines were meant to be crossed, and authorities were meant to be challenged. If I tried to put her inside a box, she was determined to get out. To this day, even if she’s not being blatantly defiant, she is plain…weird (I mean, “unique”). The other day, we were in the garage, getting out of our minivan. I was helping LittleBit out of her car seat. I looked over at Peanut who was standing by the door, and she was licking the doorknob, just for her own amusement. There are so many moments like this with her that simply makes me wonder, “Why?”
She is different. She is not easy to raise. These two truths have been so hard for me to swallow. I crave normalcy, easy, fitting in, etc. If I do stand out, I want to stand out for excellence. Peanut just stands out. Period. She has so much energy, so much to say, so much to explore…and so much she desires to control. I don’t know any other child like her.
Next came my second child, LittleBit. Now, she’s no low maintenance either when she reaches her limit and blows up. However, those moments do not characterize her overall personality. For the most part, she’s easy-going. She actually loves to please others. She is very affectionate. She does not respond to everything with a challenge. She makes me realize, “Wow, so this is what other moms are talking about, when they say how blissful early motherhood is.” Okay, don’t get me wrong; it’s not that I never had blissful moments with Peanut. Of course I did. They were just overshadowed by the many challenges I faced. So when this second child who fit more into my ideal came, guess what happened. I actually became more jealous of other moms who had “easy” children like LittleBit. I thought to myself, “So this is how easy some moms have it.” There you have it – another raw, embarrassing revelation of my inner thoughts.
For some of you, it may be your marriage. It may be finances. It may be that you’re single and have been waiting for so long, and all your friends seems to be on their third child. We all have one or two areas where we face challenges others don’t seem to face. We compare. We desire for our challenges to be lifted (for me, I’m constantly tempted to wish: When is she going to get easier?).
Then I remember. As God’s beloved child, every season of my life has a purpose, whether it be easy or difficult. I am amazed by God’s infinite wisdom. What better child to place into my hands than one who will break me free of my perfectionist ideals, who will humble me in my area of pride, and who will help me grow as a person more than I ever did? I can’t think of a more perfect match than Peanut and I. She needs more of my guidance and structure; I need more of her carefree spirit and sense of humor. She’s learning to see more of life through my eyes, and I’m learning to see it through hers. Raising her has been such a humbling, growing, rewarding, incredible journey for me….and this is only the beginning. As I look back on the last five years, I am in awe. I am so honored that God trusted me enough to place her under my care. I believe with all of my heart that her life is meant to stand out…for God. I was given the front-row seat to watch it unfold. Her leadership instincts, her intelligence, her perseverance, her strength, her caring heart….in all these and more, I see glimpses of so much potential. She is, without a doubt, one special little girl.
If I focus on other people’s lawns, I will miss out on all of this. But if I water my own diligently, I will see my greatest challenges transformed into my greatest treasures.
I wholeheartedly agree with whoever came up with this phrase: “Grass is greener where you water it.”
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
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by BooParry | Aug 22, 2012 | FaithJourney
I am having a serious writer’s block right now; please pray for me. I started writing two posts; deleted both. Nothing is flowing.
So here is my random post. Right now, we are in the middle of restructuring our family schedule and strategies for the fall. I’ve been thinking a lot about our family values. I’ve been praying about what God has entrusted to our family to steward well for this season.
A few months ago, I came up with a list of our family values, and I wanted to share them here. These are what make up “our family.”
We love Jesus! We seek to honor God in every area of our lives.
We love one another with all we’ve got, and we show it daily.
Our children do not come before our marriage. We believe the best gift we can give our children is a solid, united marriage that lasts forever.
We want to expand our family (mainly through adoption).
We love our church.
We love to give.
We love having people stay at our house (we call ourselves the “Parry B&B”).
We love simple things: coffee time, taking walks, going to the park.
We are passionate about the topics of marriage & parenting (growing and learning more, as well as imparting wisdom we gained to help other families).
We value our friendships (we are very much a relationship-oriented family).
We value modesty in the way our girls dress.
We are very casual, economical and laid back. Fancy, trendy, and high-class are NOT our style!
We are NOT about material things, because our treasure is in heaven.
We are great at being REAL.
We value respect for others (being considerate of others).
We love to LAUGH.
We value structure and being proactive when it comes to parenting.
We value doing what’s right over what’s convenient (integrity).
I highlighted some in bold, because those are the ones God is affirming to me that we should keep at the forefront as we enter the fall season.
What are your personal/family values?
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