by BooParry | Oct 8, 2012 | Adoption
Background: Over the summer, Allan and I participated in various adoption/parenting seminars online as a requirement for our adoption agency. They were very upfront in presenting the issues we may face: what the reality may look like of adopting a child who has been institutionalized for the first year (maybe two years) of her life. They presented all the possible medical issues the child may have, as well as emotional/attachment issues. I understood well that their intention was to prepare us for the worst. Still, I found myself clouding my mind with worry (what I seem to be so well at doing). Finally, I removed myself from the computer, left my husband to continue watching the session on his own, and returned with my Bible and journal in hand.
The first Bible passage I found was this:
You have made me endure many terrible troubles.
You restore me to life again.
You bring me back from the depths of the earth.
-Psalm 71:20
This was what I immediately wrote on my journal that night (July 9, 2012):
Dear Lord,
As I watch these video sessions, it’s easy to cloud my mind with worries. They talk about trust and anxiety issues the child may have, the traumas she may experience, the neglect she suffered for her first year of life in the orphanage, etc. They even mentioned the possibility of this child reenacting the abuse she suffered against our other children in the home.
Lord, please protect her body and her mind. Please surround her with Your arms of love. Please allow her, even as a baby, to experience (feel) Your presence and Your love. Quiet her with Your love.
I pray against any power that is at work in trying to harm her. I know that You are stronger. You are bigger. Your love is enough.
It’s so easy for me to be consumed with worry when I encounter all these possibilities, but help me to place my trust in Your Word. You will bring her back from the depths of the earth. You will bring full healing and restoration. Our family will be a light that shines Your glory.
I seek Your wisdom. Help me to gain what I need to from this seminar, but help me to discard the rest.
Lord, I pray that even as I write this, You will fill the void in her heart. Draw her close to You. Allow her to learn to trust You. Replace her fears with Your security.
I wonder if she’s about 6 months old now?
It should be morning in China right now. Give her a good day today. And sing her a sweet lullaby tonight. Let her soul be satisfied with You love. Let her meditate on You and Your goodness.
In Jesus’ mighty name, heal her wounds, both physically and emotionally.
Amen.
Sometimes, the worry comes creeping in again. I just long to be there…holding her in my arms. But I remember: Who better Person to trust her with…than the ONLY ONE who can fully restore her to life again.
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by BooParry | Sep 24, 2012 | Key, Parenting
Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains
One thing remains
Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me
On and one and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains
–Song by Jesus Culture
ONE THING.
I think of my special Peanut and her strong will. Her determination. What will she set her mind on as her life purpose? Whatever it may be, I have no doubt she will accomplish it. I desire this for her: personal accomplishments, great influence, big success. But I desire ONE THING more.
I think of my sweet Little Bit and her easy-going spirit. How she can work her charms to wrap anyone around her little finger. I picture her life as one that’s surrounded by friends and people who love her. I picture her eventually finding a man who desires to make her every wish come true. I dream of these things for her: great friends, a wonderful man, so much love. But I desire ONE THING more.
I think of our China doll, whom we have yet to meet. I wonder what kind of magnificent story God has in store for her: taking her out of an orphanage in China, and bringing her all the way across the world into the arms of a family who loves and adores her. I wonder how she will use this extravagant story to touch the lives of others, to bring them hope and shine God’s goodness. Yes, I want this bigger-than-life story for her. But I desire ONE THING more than all else.
I want them to know and experience the love of Jesus.
I am blessed beyond measure. I love the story God has written for my life. I love my family, my friends, and my church. I love the people God placed in my path. I love the memories I have built.
Through it all, my one constant factor in life has been Jesus. Even before I knew Him, His love was pursuing after my heart. Deep inside, there was a void that I wasn’t able to fill. He knew all along that His love was the ONE THING that can. His love truly does “overwhelm and satisfy my soul”…like no other love can, not even my husband’s. Oh, how I long for my children to know and experience this love.
Parenting. It’s such a simple word with so much meaning. So much joy. So much struggle. So many lessons. So much to grow (for both sides). Yet I pray that I will not lose focus of this ONE THING I desire for them to grab hold of. Yes, I will do my best to train them in their intellect, their manners, their abilities, and their talents. But ONE THING. This ONE THING will always be the focal point of my parenting. It will always be at the very top of my prayers for them.
Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
–Ephesians 3:17-19 New Living Translation
Amen and Amen. My dear children, until I breathe my dying breath, I will not stop praying this prayer for you.
by BooParry | Sep 3, 2012 | Marriage
I’ve heard that finance can be a cause of tension in a marriage. I can honestly say that this has not been the case for us, for the most part. Just like in any other area, we have our differences when it comes to how we handle our money. We don’t agree on every financial matter, but we do have one common factor that keeps us from finance becoming a major issue in our marriage: we both do NOT have a strong love of money.
I’m probably at the extreme end of not caring enough about money. I don’t ever spend money excessively, yet if it was up to me, I wouldn’t save much either (I always figure, God will provide for what I need). As long as my immediate needs are met, I’ve never asked for (nor longed for) much more. I was pretty proud of myself for being a non-spender, until I met my husband. Man, talk about cheap (uh, I mean, economical)! He really doesn’t like spending money, especially on himself. Honestly, I think I do him a huge favor by not buying a gift for him on holidays. He’s also much smarter than I am about saving and making investments. Last but not least, even though he doesn’t like to spend money on himself, he’s by far the most giving person that I know. In this area, he holds nothing back. This is one of the things I admire the most about this guy. He works SO hard (harder than anyone I know), always places God first in our finances, provides for our family (God was good to him by giving him a wife who can run a household on a small budget), spends almost nothing on himself, pays down debt/invests/saves, and gives the rest away. This is how our household runs.
Now, let me share with you a little of what God has done with our family finances this past year.
Every year, our church has a “bring your best offering” Sunday in November, where we bring the best amount we can (above our tithes) towards the new building project. Last November (2011), as I prayed about what that amount should be, I felt heavy in my heart that it should be an amount that is “more than comfortable” for us, an amount that would be considered a “sacrifice” for our family. I had a particular amount in mind, and when I turned to my husband and asked what he thought, he gave me an amount that was $100 more than what I had in mind. Have I mentioned to you yet how much I love this man? We both felt complete peace about the amount, and we willingly gave it to the church. At the same time, I began to pray for a financial breakthrough for our family. This was what I wrote on my journal:
God, I’m believing for financial breakthrough for us…to be free from house/(investment) condo mortgages. We want to do more for Your kingdom. We know that material things are meaningless. We want to use what You give us to make an impact for eternity. Lord, I believe that from this contribution, Your victory and breakthrough will come. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
Well, things went south after this particular Sunday. For the rest of winter and early spring, we experienced one major financial blow after another (mainly involving our investment condos). In all honesty, there were days when my husband was frustrated and I was worried. We strongly believed that we had stepped out in obedience, but instead of finding breakthrough, we found more financial troubles. I started to doubt if I made the right choice in quitting my part-time job. Then, I came across this reading from the Bible one morning:
I gave you land you had not worked on, and I gave you towns you did not build—the towns where you are now living. I gave you vineyards and olive groves for food, though you did not plant them.
So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord. -Joshua 24:13-15 New Living Translation
I wrote this in my journal:
Lord, You long to bless us and give us the abundant life You intended for us. But it’s also a choice that I have to make daily – a choice to TRUST You. I, too, will choose to serve YOU, every day. There is no other way for me. I will put away my idol called WORRY. Thank You, Lord, for this important reminder. Help me to live out my faith in front of my family and others daily. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Since then, we’ve watched in awe the WONDERS God has done through Allan’s supplement business (and it’s still very much continuing). We continue to put God first in our finances, and He continues to pour out His blessings. Allan had decided from the beginning that 10% of gross sales (not just profit) from his business will be given away. Through this commitment, we’ve been able to give away so much more than the amount we originally gave to the church last November. We’ve been able to give not only to the church, but to various mission trips/ministries, hospitals, scholarships, and other friends in need. I share this not as “look what we’ve been doing” but purely as “LOOK WHAT GOD IS DOING,” simply through our obedience and our love for Him (and not money).
In our own household, we’ve been able to pay off one of the condos as well as the HELOC on the house (which was part of the cafe ordeal from years ago). Thanks to a financial coach who helped us to organize our finances, the adoption cost has been easily affordable. Although we are still a little ways out from buying “our home” (where we hope to raise our children in for majority of their years), we are so content with waiting, while we now focus on our final (investment) condo mortgage and give some more away.
Again, this post it not meant to serve as a trophy of anything we’ve done, but of what God has done (and continues to do). Going back to my point at the beginning, I believe we are so blessed with finance not being an issue in our marriage, because we do not love money more than God. To us, our finance is not a means to gain personal satisfaction but another means to honor God with wholeheartedly. We will continue to serve Him faithfully with our finances. We will continue to be content with what we’ve been blessed with (which has been a lot!). We do not seek material wealth, because our treasure is in heaven. We LOVE giving money away, and we count is as an honor that God has allowed us to participate in. As we keep honoring God with our money, I believe our season of blessings will continue. But even if/when we encounter another season of financial trial, I can look back on what He has done in this season and place my trust in Him once more to carry us through.
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by BooParry | Aug 22, 2012 | FaithJourney
I am having a serious writer’s block right now; please pray for me. I started writing two posts; deleted both. Nothing is flowing.
So here is my random post. Right now, we are in the middle of restructuring our family schedule and strategies for the fall. I’ve been thinking a lot about our family values. I’ve been praying about what God has entrusted to our family to steward well for this season.
A few months ago, I came up with a list of our family values, and I wanted to share them here. These are what make up “our family.”
We love Jesus! We seek to honor God in every area of our lives.
We love one another with all we’ve got, and we show it daily.
Our children do not come before our marriage. We believe the best gift we can give our children is a solid, united marriage that lasts forever.
We want to expand our family (mainly through adoption).
We love our church.
We love to give.
We love having people stay at our house (we call ourselves the “Parry B&B”).
We love simple things: coffee time, taking walks, going to the park.
We are passionate about the topics of marriage & parenting (growing and learning more, as well as imparting wisdom we gained to help other families).
We value our friendships (we are very much a relationship-oriented family).
We value modesty in the way our girls dress.
We are very casual, economical and laid back. Fancy, trendy, and high-class are NOT our style!
We are NOT about material things, because our treasure is in heaven.
We are great at being REAL.
We value respect for others (being considerate of others).
We love to LAUGH.
We value structure and being proactive when it comes to parenting.
We value doing what’s right over what’s convenient (integrity).
I highlighted some in bold, because those are the ones God is affirming to me that we should keep at the forefront as we enter the fall season.
What are your personal/family values?
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by BooParry | Aug 7, 2012 | Single
I’ve been walking with God for about fifteen years now. Over the years, I’ve experienced many “kisses from God” moments, when I’m overwhelmed by His intimate, personal expression of His love for me.
One of those moments stands out more than the rest.
I was living in North Hollywood. I was 23 years old. I had finished my first year out in the “real world,” outside of my Christian bubble. It was not going well. I was barely able to keep up with my bills (let me repeat: I was living in North Hollywood, with an entry-level job). I was not making the best choices. I felt God tugging at my heart, to let down my pride and lean on my parents for a while. I also had an “out of sight, out of mind” attitude towards my parents, and I knew that God wanted me to work on building a stronger relationship with them. It was time to push the reset button and return to my “home” as a young adult. The problem was, they had moved to Florida during my first year in college. My new home was at the very opposite side of the country.
I loved California. It was the only home I had known since I left Japan. I loved being able to see the mountains from the beach. I loved the cultural diversity. I loved the food! I loved the weather. Most of all, I loved the people. I found the best kind of friends I had ever encountered. I found a family that accepted me as their own. The thought of leaving the people and all the memories was almost unbearable for me. Yet, something inside of my spirit said this was the right thing to do.
I attended a church service for one last time on that Sunday before I left California. My heart was heavy. I prayed to God for some kind of confirmation – or even comfort. I then prayed a very specific prayer. My favorite worship song at the time was “Enough” by Chris Tomlin.
All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough
I knew this was true…but I wanted to hear it and sing it as part of the last worship service I attended in California. The band began the service with a different song, and I waited for the next song…then the next. When I saw the band members depart from the stage after the last song, I was a little disappointed. I sat down on my chair and tried to focus on the rest of the service.
And then… (I have to pause here for a moment. As I currently sit at Starbucks typing this, my heart is full and I can’t stop the tears when I think back on this moment).
Two members from the band returned. One brought out a cello (the other member may have had a guitar, I can’t remember). They sat. In a very still moment, one began to play a beautiful melody from the cello, and the other began to sing the most treasured lyrics of my heart. So softly. So gently. So beautifully. I could not even stand from my seat. I just sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed.
God, I am so sad. I know I will be so lonesome for my friends here.
It’s alright, my child. I will quiet you with My love. I will be with you. You will never be alone.
But this past year – I’ve made some pretty bad decisions. I’m not worthy.
I knew you before you were born. You are ALWAYS precious in My sight, no matter how much you may lose sight of Me.
I need strength and courage to face the unknown. I’m leaving my comfort zone, and I’m scared.
I will be your strength and give you courage. I will bless you for following my path. You will not regret it.
I need You! I need You! I need You!
My beloved, I am here. I will always be here to walk beside you.
I had asked for a simple song. He gave me so much more. He turned it into such an intimate, sweet, sweet moment. After 15 years, I’m well aware that this is how He works. He loves to exceed my highest expectations.
Now to Him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us— to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. -Ephesians 3:20-21 (HCSB)
Well, as you can probably imagine, the move was hard. It took some time for me to get over the loneliness. But eventually, I found a new home. Not only that, I met my husband, and we started a family here in Florida. This is now a life and a home that I can’t imagine being without.
My single friends: I encourage you to not miss these kisses that God throws your way. When your heart is truly seeking Him, He WILL answer your call. He loves to lavish you with these sweet kisses. There is also no greater season to experience these kisses than now. It’s not that they won’t happen once you’re married – but there will be so many other responsibilities and distractions that can keep you from enjoying these moments to the fullest. This is such a special time for just you and Him – and nobody else. He loves to take advantage of this season and keep the kisses coming. Don’t miss them. When you learn to seize and enjoy them, they will forever be imprinted on your heart.
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