Funny that I’m using the term “New Year” when it’s already mid-March. My last post was in October of 2013, so yes, life has been busy!
But I am sooo ready to get back into the blogging world. I hope my readers (and some new ones) are ready to jump back on the journey with me!
A quick recap of 2013 – I started out the year with my goal of being “TRUTHFUL” (click on link to read my post on this). 2013 has taken me on an unbelievable journey. First, it was a journey of trying to be more truthful in my interactions with people close to me (instead of always trying to please them). Then in the second half of the year, life took some unexpected turns and the word “truthful” took on a different meaning. I came to a place where I had to face some “truths” about myself. This was very hard and humbling. It’s actually a process that’s still going on, and when I’m ready, I will be sure to blog all about it. Then towards end of the year, God brought me to a place of true WORSHIP. He reminded me that being TRUTHFUL – being TRUE to myself – was really about fulfilling the ultimate purpose for my life…which is to be a WORSHIPER of God. I was created to WORSHIP. This is my true identity. This is where I can be the most truthful – to myself, to God, and to others.
I know it’s pretty vague – but I had to write that for myself as a quick summary of 2013. Again, I will write more on all this later.
This brings me to 2014. For the past few years, I have sought God to give me a word that sort of describes my goal/mission for the year. This year, it couldn’t fit into a single word. My phrase this year is “In His Presence.” This year, perhaps more than ever, I need His presence. I need it constantly. I need it every minute of every hour. I NEED Him. I want to be more intentional about staying in His presence…being in sweet communion with Him constantly. It’s so necessary yet so hard to do, especially as a mother of three!
Blogging really helps me to be in His presence…because most of the time when I blog, I’m reflecting on something He has taught me in the past or is currently teaching me. I am reminded of His goodness and His faithfulness as I reflect on my life experiences.
Some changes…
In addition to a new blog design (a BIG thanks to my friend from Blue Yonder Design), I want to make some changes to my blog. I felt like I was all over the place with this blog. I want to concentrate on specific topics at a time (maybe write 2-3 posts in a row on a particular topic), instead of picking a topic randomly and moving on to something else on the next post.
Here are some topic series that I have in mind….
How to choose the right kind of spouse
Practical tips on raising a strong-willed child
Practical tips on helping your children develop loving sibling relationships
How to effectively communicate with your spouse
In a nutshell, I want to make my blog more focused and practical.
Last month was the 10th anniversary of my big move from California to Florida. My new life in Florida began on August 21, 2003.
This made me think of who I was 10 years ago…and who I am now.
ME 10 years ago:
-Young (Boy, was I young! 23 years old. I had no clue how “young” I really was back then, or how much freedom I had to enjoy, haha.)
-Shy, scared to talk to new people
-Homesick for California
-Moved back in with my parents
-Loved God…but also looking for my future mate to fill my needs and desires. I was so anxious for “my happily ever after” to arrive!
-Loved to journal and play with photos
-Not a big reader
-Not a kid person, although I knew I wanted a big family someday
ME now:
-Married for 7 years
-Three daughters
-Just returned from China to adopt our new daughter
-Led numerous small groups (parenting and MOPS groups). Love to speak/teach in front of people.
-Love God more than ever…knows He is the One who fills ALL of my needs and desires.
-Learning more about truly becoming who I was created to be…a worshiper of God, not just in songs but also with every detail of my life.
-Love to blog and play with photos
-Love to read
Life lessons learned….
By being married to my husband, I have learned the true meaning of LOVE. LOVE is not a romantic happily ever after, but a daily choice to say “I do.” Marriage is an opportunity TO LOVE and serve. Opportunity to grow. Yes, it has many happy, joyful moments full of laughter. But there are tough times as well, and God MUST be our rock.
By being a mother to Peanut, I learned more about FAITH (which also happens to be her middle name). Motherhood is not a constant blissful season that I dreamed of. It’s a constant LEANING on God to guide me with wisdom. Constant test of faith (especially when blessed with a strong-willed child!): to stay consistent even if I don’t see the fruit right away, continue to have FAITH in the BIG plans God has for my child, and continue to parent towards the future.
By being a mother to LittleBit, I have experienced so much JOY. There is so much joy in parenting. The “oh you are so cute” moments really make all the frustrations from the day disappear. I’m learning to find joy in the little things. I’m learning to take a break from the busyness of life…and just ENJOY the blessings that are all around me.
Within these past two months of being a mother to Mini-Lu, I’ve been a recipient of abundant GRACE. It’s not about being a perfect mom who has it all together. Sometimes I mess up…badly. Sometimes my children show goodness “in spite of” my parenting and not “because of” my parenting. But even in this, God is whispering to me, “It’s OK. You will mess up sometimes. But keep trying. Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep leaning on Me to be the mom I have created you to be.” With each new child, God enlarges my capacity. He also shows me GRACE through my children. Often times, they are so much more gracious than I am. They are so resilient and forgiving. Their love and trust in me do not waver. Everyday, I receive a dosage of God’s GRACE through my children, and most especially through Mini-Lu.
I love my life. Oh, how I love my life. It’s not always easy. I have many more days of feeling exhausted, frustrated, and out-of-control than I did ten years ago. But I would not trade this life for what I had. No, definitely not. I have more gray hairs and wrinkles…and my nails are hardly ever polished. But…I have gained so much more wisdom, love, joy, and strength on the inside…through all that God has allowed me to experience in the last ten years. Most importantly, Jesus is more real to me than ever before.
Here’s the biggest lesson I learned in the last 10 years. 10 years ago, I was chasing after my perfect sandcastle…my happily ever after. 10 years later, I’ve learned…it’s when my own sandcastle is SMASHED, when I’m broken, and when I’m so very aware of how imperfect I am…these are the times I run the fastest into the arms of my Father. In midst of this sweet surrender, I finally find my “happily ever after”: my heart so engulfed by His love that I don’t know whose heartbeat I’m listening to…mine or His.
No, I wouldn’t trade this Divine Romance for any other kind of life this world may have to offer.
Here is what my husband and I had to say about our 7 years of marriage together. We hope our children will enjoy watching this in the future. Part 2 of 2.
Did five years really pass by already? What an adventure you and I have had. You let me know, from Day 1, that being your mother was going to be nothing like I had imagined for myself all these years. What’s more, you and I are like two very opposite notes trying hard to create a melody together. At first, it seemed like a very hopeless match. We both wanted to play the notes our way. You were very unwilling to follow my lead. I had to learn that I cannot force you to play the notes exactly the way I want. Yet one of us had to lead, and you have come so far in learning how to follow, so that you may one day lead. We’re starting to see…that you and I are actually a perfect match. We are learning the unique beauty of the notes each other has to offer. Together, we are creating a harmony that we could not have produced on our own. God is molding both of us through this journey that we share. I need you in order to become a better person, just as much as you need me.
Alisa Faith, you are one extraordinary girl. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will impact the world for God. You have what it takes to be a powerful leader. I can see it in your eyes. I can sense it from your determination. I can feel it from your heart. You are incredibly smart, with such attention to details, and you have a natural appetite to lead. You truly have a caring heart, and you love to defend the defenseless. You desire justice and excellence in everything that you put your mind into. I look forward to having a front-row seat as I watch all of God’s plans unfold for your life.
Always remember, my little girl, that you have been given these gifts and qualities for a higher calling. They are not for your own honor and fame. You were created to shine God’s beauty – and you are beautiful, inside and out. This world will make you choose…and when it does, choose Jesus. Choose Jesus with all of your heart. He will never, ever, let you go. His love will always be enough. One day with Him will always be better than a thousand days elsewhere. My prayer for you, above all, is that you will continue to grow in your understanding of His love for you.
My Peanut-cakes, how much does Mommy love you? “To infinity and beyond.”
