by BooParry | Feb 18, 2013 | FaithJourney
Only God can do the impossible. Only God could have parted the Red Sea. Only God can touch and change people’s hearts with His love.
My friend introduced me to a great online daily devotional by Nicky Gumbel. In today’s devotional, he talked about how Moses had a part to play (‘Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea’, Exodus 14:16), but God had a much bigger and harder role to play (dividing the waters).
I, no doubt, have my part to play. God desires to use me for His purpose. I am called to be faithful in doing my part. Yet, there is always a part that only He can accomplish. He and His power alone.
I think this is such a necessary lesson for me to learn, especially as I prepare myself for the counseling field. Or even in just my everyday life, when I’m in midst of situations or relationships that I just want to “fix” and make it all better.
“Did I do enough?” “Did I say enough?” or sometimes, even “Did I pray enough?”
I need to remember – it is not my responsibility. Be faithful to do my part, yes, but beyond that is not my responsibility…and many times, it’s even beyond my possibility. But with God, all things are possible.
I feel like Job…standing in front of the God of the Universe. He’s asking me, “So…you think you can work this out better than I can, huh? Tell me…who made the stars and put them in its place?” Touché. Game over.
So once I’ve done my part, what do I do?
Wait…and keep praying. That can actually be harder than whatever it was that I was called to do. In one instance, when Moses was again called to raise his arms during a battle, his arms became tired, and Aaron had to help him (Exodus 17).
Waiting and being faithful in prayer can become so wearisome… If you’re like me, you’d much rather be doing something to get quicker results!
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”
I especially love the way New American Standard Bible says it, “Cease striving and know that I am God.”
God, I believe You are the God of this universe. I believe all things are possible with You. I believe that one touch of Your love can change people’s hearts forever. I believe that one revelation from You can change people’s minds. I believe Your goodness and faithfulness will be revealed, to all who call on Your name. I trust all my cares – all my concerns for my loved ones – at Your feet. I believe I will see Your victory. I believe that Your name will be glorified. Until then, when I’ve done what I was called to do, I will learn to be still and find peace in the truth that You are GOD. (Thankfully) I am not.
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by BooParry | Oct 8, 2012 | Adoption
Background: Over the summer, Allan and I participated in various adoption/parenting seminars online as a requirement for our adoption agency. They were very upfront in presenting the issues we may face: what the reality may look like of adopting a child who has been institutionalized for the first year (maybe two years) of her life. They presented all the possible medical issues the child may have, as well as emotional/attachment issues. I understood well that their intention was to prepare us for the worst. Still, I found myself clouding my mind with worry (what I seem to be so well at doing). Finally, I removed myself from the computer, left my husband to continue watching the session on his own, and returned with my Bible and journal in hand.
The first Bible passage I found was this:
You have made me endure many terrible troubles.
You restore me to life again.
You bring me back from the depths of the earth.
-Psalm 71:20
This was what I immediately wrote on my journal that night (July 9, 2012):
Dear Lord,
As I watch these video sessions, it’s easy to cloud my mind with worries. They talk about trust and anxiety issues the child may have, the traumas she may experience, the neglect she suffered for her first year of life in the orphanage, etc. They even mentioned the possibility of this child reenacting the abuse she suffered against our other children in the home.
Lord, please protect her body and her mind. Please surround her with Your arms of love. Please allow her, even as a baby, to experience (feel) Your presence and Your love. Quiet her with Your love.
I pray against any power that is at work in trying to harm her. I know that You are stronger. You are bigger. Your love is enough.
It’s so easy for me to be consumed with worry when I encounter all these possibilities, but help me to place my trust in Your Word. You will bring her back from the depths of the earth. You will bring full healing and restoration. Our family will be a light that shines Your glory.
I seek Your wisdom. Help me to gain what I need to from this seminar, but help me to discard the rest.
Lord, I pray that even as I write this, You will fill the void in her heart. Draw her close to You. Allow her to learn to trust You. Replace her fears with Your security.
I wonder if she’s about 6 months old now?
It should be morning in China right now. Give her a good day today. And sing her a sweet lullaby tonight. Let her soul be satisfied with You love. Let her meditate on You and Your goodness.
In Jesus’ mighty name, heal her wounds, both physically and emotionally.
Amen.
Sometimes, the worry comes creeping in again. I just long to be there…holding her in my arms. But I remember: Who better Person to trust her with…than the ONLY ONE who can fully restore her to life again.
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by BooParry | Sep 3, 2012 | Marriage
I’ve heard that finance can be a cause of tension in a marriage. I can honestly say that this has not been the case for us, for the most part. Just like in any other area, we have our differences when it comes to how we handle our money. We don’t agree on every financial matter, but we do have one common factor that keeps us from finance becoming a major issue in our marriage: we both do NOT have a strong love of money.
I’m probably at the extreme end of not caring enough about money. I don’t ever spend money excessively, yet if it was up to me, I wouldn’t save much either (I always figure, God will provide for what I need). As long as my immediate needs are met, I’ve never asked for (nor longed for) much more. I was pretty proud of myself for being a non-spender, until I met my husband. Man, talk about cheap (uh, I mean, economical)! He really doesn’t like spending money, especially on himself. Honestly, I think I do him a huge favor by not buying a gift for him on holidays. He’s also much smarter than I am about saving and making investments. Last but not least, even though he doesn’t like to spend money on himself, he’s by far the most giving person that I know. In this area, he holds nothing back. This is one of the things I admire the most about this guy. He works SO hard (harder than anyone I know), always places God first in our finances, provides for our family (God was good to him by giving him a wife who can run a household on a small budget), spends almost nothing on himself, pays down debt/invests/saves, and gives the rest away. This is how our household runs.
Now, let me share with you a little of what God has done with our family finances this past year.
Every year, our church has a “bring your best offering” Sunday in November, where we bring the best amount we can (above our tithes) towards the new building project. Last November (2011), as I prayed about what that amount should be, I felt heavy in my heart that it should be an amount that is “more than comfortable” for us, an amount that would be considered a “sacrifice” for our family. I had a particular amount in mind, and when I turned to my husband and asked what he thought, he gave me an amount that was $100 more than what I had in mind. Have I mentioned to you yet how much I love this man? We both felt complete peace about the amount, and we willingly gave it to the church. At the same time, I began to pray for a financial breakthrough for our family. This was what I wrote on my journal:
God, I’m believing for financial breakthrough for us…to be free from house/(investment) condo mortgages. We want to do more for Your kingdom. We know that material things are meaningless. We want to use what You give us to make an impact for eternity. Lord, I believe that from this contribution, Your victory and breakthrough will come. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
Well, things went south after this particular Sunday. For the rest of winter and early spring, we experienced one major financial blow after another (mainly involving our investment condos). In all honesty, there were days when my husband was frustrated and I was worried. We strongly believed that we had stepped out in obedience, but instead of finding breakthrough, we found more financial troubles. I started to doubt if I made the right choice in quitting my part-time job. Then, I came across this reading from the Bible one morning:
I gave you land you had not worked on, and I gave you towns you did not build—the towns where you are now living. I gave you vineyards and olive groves for food, though you did not plant them.
So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord. -Joshua 24:13-15 New Living Translation
I wrote this in my journal:
Lord, You long to bless us and give us the abundant life You intended for us. But it’s also a choice that I have to make daily – a choice to TRUST You. I, too, will choose to serve YOU, every day. There is no other way for me. I will put away my idol called WORRY. Thank You, Lord, for this important reminder. Help me to live out my faith in front of my family and others daily. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Since then, we’ve watched in awe the WONDERS God has done through Allan’s supplement business (and it’s still very much continuing). We continue to put God first in our finances, and He continues to pour out His blessings. Allan had decided from the beginning that 10% of gross sales (not just profit) from his business will be given away. Through this commitment, we’ve been able to give away so much more than the amount we originally gave to the church last November. We’ve been able to give not only to the church, but to various mission trips/ministries, hospitals, scholarships, and other friends in need. I share this not as “look what we’ve been doing” but purely as “LOOK WHAT GOD IS DOING,” simply through our obedience and our love for Him (and not money).
In our own household, we’ve been able to pay off one of the condos as well as the HELOC on the house (which was part of the cafe ordeal from years ago). Thanks to a financial coach who helped us to organize our finances, the adoption cost has been easily affordable. Although we are still a little ways out from buying “our home” (where we hope to raise our children in for majority of their years), we are so content with waiting, while we now focus on our final (investment) condo mortgage and give some more away.
Again, this post it not meant to serve as a trophy of anything we’ve done, but of what God has done (and continues to do). Going back to my point at the beginning, I believe we are so blessed with finance not being an issue in our marriage, because we do not love money more than God. To us, our finance is not a means to gain personal satisfaction but another means to honor God with wholeheartedly. We will continue to serve Him faithfully with our finances. We will continue to be content with what we’ve been blessed with (which has been a lot!). We do not seek material wealth, because our treasure is in heaven. We LOVE giving money away, and we count is as an honor that God has allowed us to participate in. As we keep honoring God with our money, I believe our season of blessings will continue. But even if/when we encounter another season of financial trial, I can look back on what He has done in this season and place my trust in Him once more to carry us through.
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by BooParry | Jul 11, 2012 | Key, Marriage
“For better or worse.” When we stand at the altar and make those vows, I wonder how many of us truly, TRULY understand the “[for] worse” part. I know I didn’t.
The darkest time we faced in our marriage (to date) was the season of the café trials. Allan was a co-owner of a café, which turned into one nightmare ordeal after another. During one particular season (which also happened to be the first year of our oldest daughter’s life), it seemed as though uncontrollable and highly unfavorable circumstances were attacking him from all angles. Over the course of nine months, I saw his frustration level rise, and he was anything but his usual, cheerful self. It was painful to watch.
My husband is usually a very upbeat kind of guy. When he’s “up,” those around him (especially me) can’t help but to feel happy, even if I was having a downer day. But when he’s “down” and upset, the atmosphere becomes full of tension. I get very anxious. He has such a boisterous, influential presence, and I have a tendency of being like a sponge, soaking up the atmosphere that I’m around. When his frustration level kept rising and his negativity permeated our home, I began to wonder: Is everything going to be OK? How can we get out of this and be happy again? Will things always be like this? Some days, I was actually relieved when he left for work. At least then, I felt all the chaos and anger were outside of our home. Then I quickly felt sad for feeling this way. How can this be? We were only two years into our marriage, and this was not how I pictured it would be.
Needless to say, this was one of our “[for] worse” seasons. How did we make it through? I know that I didn’t handle it in the best way. The important thing is, we did make it through, and in the process of making many mistakes, we came out wiser on the other end.
MISTAKE #1: I threw myself a pity party. As I type this, this happened to me again last night. As human beings, I think it’s pretty much impossible not to view ourselves as the victims, at least initially. So I should rephrase this: the mistake is to STAY at my own pity party. I stayed there for a long time during the café season. Allan was so tied up (even more than usual), and when he was around, I was the soundboard of his frustrations. I missed my fun, upbeat husband. I missed our home being free of tension and chaos. I missed having him around more. I was frustrated too, but I felt I couldn’t dump it on him because he was already going through so much. I kept thinking: What about me? What about my needs? What about my hurts? Again, throwing a pity party for ourselves is so incredibly easy to do, and sometimes we have a right to throw one. Yet how do we get out of that spot and not stay there? The answer leads to my next point.
MISTAKE #2: I turned to my spouse to heal my wounds. Wait…isn’t that what our spouse is suppose to do? I’ve learned that our spouse can be a tool that God uses to bring healing, but God is always the ultimate HEALER. I wanted Allan to make it all better. There were many nights when I cried myself to sleep (in the living room), hoping that Allan would hear me and come comfort me. When I did dump all my emotions on him, he usually tried to “fix” my hurt, which often involved him defending his case (in hindsight, I know that deep down he was feeling very bad for how this trial was affecting our family). My wounds could not be fixed; they needed to be healed. My girlfriends listened and sympathized, but they could not heal. My mentors gave me advice, but they could not heal. I learned some valuable lessons during that trial. Fast forward to present time. Last night, as my pity party began in the shower, it quickly turned into a prayer session. I cried out to God. I let Him know how much this hurts. I brought all of my brokenness to Him. He hears. He understands. Most importantly, He heals. (Psalm 147:3)
MISTAKE #3: I expressed my feelings to my spouse without checking my motives. When we’re hurt or disappointed, it’s easy to speak out of our current emotions. I did that a few times to Allan during the café season. It only made matters worse. Why did I need to communicate those feelings to him? If I was to examine my heart, it was because I wanted him to know how miserable I was feeling, not because I thought it would make things better. I’m not saying we should never communicate how we honestly feel. We do need to remember though, God gave us power over our words. He gave us power to speak life into the hearts of those we love. Last night, as I pondered on this, I realized that the most effective things I can say during these times are often the farthest from what I want to say. Instead of “What about ME?” I can say, “Is there anything I can do to help?” Which one of those phrases will breathe life into my husband, and which one of those phrases will let him know that I am his #1 fan? (Proverbs 16:24)
MISTAKE #4: I let worry and anxiety cloud my mind. Oh boy, it’s scary how good I am at this one. Triggering from one single incident, I start thinking how it’s always going to be like this and what kind of damage it will do to our family. Our mind can be such a tricky device, can’t it? If we let it, it will go through that downward spiral so fast, and before long we’re like a slave to a god called WORRY. I can’t remember the exact phrase my pastor used, but it was something like this: “Instead of being a WORRIER, be a PRAYER WARRIOR.” That stuck with me, and that’s the first thing I do when I begin to worry. I ask God to give me the RIGHT perspective – a clear and balanced perspective, instead of one that is clouded by current emotions. I claim Scripture over our situations. My God says no weapon formed against me shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17)! Shortly after I do this, the worry god is inevitably DETHRONED, and my God Almighty is in His rightful place.
The last piece of all this, in addition to all of the above, is SURRENDER. Life is hard at times, and I don’t know what the future holds. In marriage, ten out of ten couples will experience the valleys as well as the mountaintops. Many times there is nothing that I can do to change the situation, and most certainly I can’t change my spouse. One thing I hold on to – and I will keep hanging on, until the day I see Him face to face: I cry out to God, I trust everything in His care, and He delivers me from all my troubles (Psalm 34:17). Not once has this not been true. It doesn’t happen instantly. Often times it’s a long climb back to the mountaintop…but I always get there. What is the reward of all this faith-stretching struggle to the mountaintop, when another valley will eventually come? It’s that when I do hit another valley, like I did last night, the climb back up is a little bit lighter and easier. In the process of the climbing, it’s me who’s changing. That’s what it’s all about. When I climb that last mountain, into the loving arms of my God, I hope that who I am then will represent more of His character than when I first began.
As an added bonus, this journey helps me to become a better wife when we hit those “[for] worse” seasons.
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